smile and tear (beautiful)
by thesweetsummerchilde
Summary: their paths were of smiles and tears {he once told her that anything beautiful was short-lived.} - nejihina, unrequited naruhina, brief narusaku


**Rated** : T for brief mention of death, violence and implied incest

 **Summary** : Their paths were of smiles and tears {He once told her that anything beautiful was short-lived.}

 **Author's Note** : Nothing, I guess, except the usual 'read and review'? Oh, and please **review**. I saw that there were more than 300 views for my fanfics, and yet... There are no review. No favourite. No nothing... You know, it makes me feel like I'm writing for non-existent readers. It is desperate, I tell you, the feeling that is nagging on your senses and the burning question "What did I do wrong?". So plzzzzzz... Review? Even if this's horrible?

 **Side note** : I was on drugs when I wrote this.

Kidding! But you did believe it for a second, did you?

 **Dedication:** This fic is dedicated to my friend **_SeleneChelsea0801,_** who recommended me to write a NejiHina oneshot with the sentence "Your tears are too precious to be wasted."

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. Kishimoto owns Naruto. Taylor Swift owns _Wildest Dreams, Begin Again_ and _Enchanted_. Phillip Phillips owns _Gone, Gone, Gone_.** **Demi Lovato owns _Skyscraper_. Adam Levine owns _Lost Stars_. Before You Exit owns _Soldier._ Jessie J owns _Flashlight_. Katy Perry owns _The One That Got Away_. Christina Aguilera owns _We Remain_. I own nothing but the plot. And this fanfic.**

* * *

They first met on a winter day.

Snow was falling slowly, coating the ground pure white. There was nothing but fluffy whiteness. Wind blew continuously, and though he had already worn a big jacket, the four-year-old boy shuddered slightly, snuggling closer to his father, chilliness sending shivers up his spines.

His father smiled at him. The little hand was covered easily by Hizashi's big and calloused one.

They strolled down the street comfortably, piles of fallen clouds lined on the pavement caught the little boy's attention. A big, innocent smile brightened his face as he tilted his head to have a better look. How it would feel if he touched...

Neji looked up at his father, pleading eyes, but instead, the old man chuckled warmly:

"We're almost there, almost."

They arrived at a big, big house, he'd never seen any house that big before... Ivory eyes widened, obvious admiration reflected on the surface.

And father walked out from the door.

He looked up questioningly. But his father was still here! Next to him! He was holding father's hand!

Calloused fingers brushed his silky brown hair.

The 'other' father stepped up before him. Neji could see and feel clearly the white eyes bore intentionally at his face.

The little boy shuddered. His hold on the big hand tightened.

This 'father' seemed so... strict. His aura was cold, too, not like father's usual warmth...

"Hiashi-sama."

Hizashi bowed his head.

'Other' father nod

"Hizashi."

His forehead lacked the... special symbol, the boy noticed.

And behind that man, there was the slightest tint of midnight blue, just the slightest, silky and short and unnoticed by anyone...

Feeling the tension, that blue tint hid even more timidly.

Other father observed everything, too, but he simply said:

"This is my daughter, Hinata."

And his hand was brought to his back, touching something, something...

The blue tint popped out again, and this time, Neji could see her whole face. Big ivory eyes, short blue hair, hiding shyly behind her father.

For a moment, he thought she was the fairy, from mother's bedtime stories - the pretty girl who could grant magic, whose own appearance was a magic ittelf.

A smile broke out on his face.

And he said, the first thing that came to his mind:

"Isn't she cute, Father?"

* * *

 _Shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when I saw your face_  
 _All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you._

 _Your eyes whispered "have we met?"_  
 _Across the room your silhouette_  
 _Starts to make it's way to me_  
 _The playful conversation starts_  
 _Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy._

 _All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you_

 _This night is sparkling, don't you let it go_  
 _I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home_  
 _I'll spend forever wondering if you knew_  
 _I was enchanted to meet you._

* * *

When they met again, it was two years later, and Neji was a six-year-old now.

Two years are enough to erase all the innocent traces of sweet childhood. It is enough for life to rub the hard, bitter truth in his face, to show all the cruelty and coldness and indifference and pain in his face, all the unfairness life itself is.

He'd seen how his father was 'treated', with the curse seal on his forehead.

And it was a torturous moment, because his father, his very father, was there, writhing on the floor, his facial expression showed undoubtable pain, caused by his own brother, and Neji could do nothing to help but stand there and stare silently at the unreadable mask of the Head...

He'd felt the seal, implanted on his forehead, and had known that it was only a matter of time before he himself felt that kind of punishment too...

And they, all of the Main House members, could do this to him, because he was a low Branch House, because he was born a servant, to the clan, no matter what he does.

Especially _what he does_.

 _Ultimately, we're judged by what we cannot change._

He threw the stone in his palm down the lake.

It created a small 'pop' sound, and then drowned, slowly, in the water.

And then, there was a surprised sound, and someone standing up fast, cloth ruffling harshly.

The midnight blue tint wavered behind the bush, right next to him.

"I... I'm s-sorry... I w-will go b-back right now..."

Hinata-sama.

Milky eyes looked around, ashamed and guilty, even though she'd done nothing.

He was pretty sure she'd done nothing.

Her gaze touched his figure, and a small relieved sigh escaped her lips.

"Oh... N-Neji nii-san..."

Wooden sandals scratched on the ground, and the slim figure sat down next to him, heat radiated toward his body.

His skin itched.

Ivory eyes stared at ivory eyes, very much alike but at the same time, very different. But how different, he couldn't tell. It just... wasn't like looking at his reflection in the mirror.

Her eyes shyly averted to the ground, and he noticed the faint colour in those pupil-less eyes.

Red.

An undescribable feeling lumped up his throat at the sight, and he swallowed uneasily.

Hinata-sama.

The harmless girl, doing nothing but shying away, afraid of her own shadow... Of course she would easily cry over things.

But another part of him protested, that she was a girl after all, and it was only normal for her to cry, just like it was normal for _him_ to assure her. Because she was a girl, and no girl should feel unhappy - unhappy enough to shed tears, and because it was _his job_ to protect her. Because it just wasn't _right_ to leave her in this state...

 _Hinata-sama of the Main House. Neji, you will live to protect her..._

Hinata must have noticed his gazed, as her eyes shifted to her feet.

His voice, a stranger's voice, sounding so... soft, as he asked:

"Hinata-sama... What happened?"

"N-Nothing..."

She mumbled, turning her face away.

"Hinata-sama..."

He tried again, surprising himself as how he could be so gentle... Mother always compaint that he didn't play with the kids his age, and father always told him to relax a little... If only they saw him now...

In the moonlight, Neji could mke out her figure, shoulders trembling and shaking, and it made him have a weird want to huge her, because no one, no one should ever make her sad like this, _the beautiful creature from fairy tales that everyone loves_ as he once thought she was.

He didn't believe in fairy tales now, but still, Hinata-sama was the Heiress, was his cousin, and nobody could hurt her.

"Hinata-sama..."

His fingers reached out to touch her shoulders, and she turned around, buried her face in his shirt.

Neji could feel the tingling sensation of damp cloth and water on his skin, the girl in his arms shaking from the hiccups.

"F-Father... was... so... d-disap-pointed... He... I... useless... weak... not-not enough... N-Nii-san..."

Neji couldn't hear everything she said, but he heard enough.

And all he could do was stroking her hair, silky midnight-blue hair, cut short to fit a strong kunoichi Hinata was _supposed_ to be.

"Don't cry, Hinata-sama."

Silent droplets soaked the white cloth, and he made a sad smile.

 _Ultimately, we're judged by what we cannot change._

* * *

 _God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young_  
 _It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run_  
 _Searching for meaning_  
 _But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?_

* * *

When he was thirteen, he learned that this life is indeed unfair.

Neji knew that he was talented, very talented - the thickest Hyuuga blood run in his channels, many ones had whispered, out loud and discreetly. He was the prodigy, the elders said, it was such a waste that he was a Branch House member.

Forever boxed in the cage, talent and gift are just wasted.

Because he was a Branch House member.

To serve people who are never as good as him.

Because he was a Branch House member.

Father died to save Hinata, a _weak_ girl, because he had to, because it was his obligation, as a Branch House member, always the mute servant, unrecognized...

And so would he - dedicated his life to someone who didn't even _deserve_ it.

Blood rushed to his head, and a roar filled his ears, fire raging in his chest.

Hinata - that weakling, useless of a _Heiress_ , didn't deserve _anything_ at all.

A small, stubborn, _reasonable_ voice inside him nagged, that Hinata had done nothing to him too.

But she was a Main House member. Always in the odd's favor, always have the upper advantage.

His smile was full of disgust and distaste.

And he told her, practiaclly _seethed_ at her.

"Give up, Hinata."

"You know you are never meant to be a ninja. Never were, never are and never wll be."

"You know as much as I do that you don't even stand a chance. Because people can never change, can never run away from their destiny. And you can never run away from your true self. A failure, a shamed excuse of a shinobi - of the _Hyuuga_." - He bit out the words like it was venom.

"So, stop trying."

She timidly stood there, listening to everything. And when she looked up, there was _something_ in her eyes. A spark.

And she refused to give up.

Over and over and over again he hit her, and kicked and punched, and over and over again, she stood up, worse than the last time, but stood up nonetheless.

Her knees wobbled violently. Her form was shaking, and Hinata could barely steady herself.

"I... am... stong... nii-san... and I...will prove it... to ... you!"

She said, between ragged breath. Repeating it again and again like a mantra.

Usually, Neji would just wave his hand - clearly she would lose, it was just a matter of time - and laugh at her. But not this time.

At that moment, he only felt his rage and anger, toward the unfairness, toward fate, toward the Main House, toward freedom, toward everything Hinata represented. And he would just destroy it - because it was why he had all the talents and gifts, because it was his fate.

He would kill her. Dry her stupid, pathetic tears out.

Hinata clenched her teeth.

 _I will not give him that pleasure_.

 _And I will not go back to be that weak girl_.

* * *

 _You can take everything I have_  
 _You can break everything I am_  
 _Like i'm made of glass_  
 _Like i'm made of paper_

 _Go on and try to tear me down_  
 _I will be rising from the ground_  
 _Like a skyscraper_  
 _Like a skyscraper_

* * *

After the Chuunin exams, Hiashi himself gave him the explanation - for everything, his father's death, the misunderstood, everything.

And Naruto - that stupid boy, beat something in his face, in his belief.

 _I'm not gonna run away, I never go back on my word! That's my ninja way!_

Hmpm...

Neji closed his eyes and sighed. Being defeated... surely wasn't the first thing in his 'pleasant things to do' list. That is, if he has one.

 _I'm not gonna run away..._

If that stupid Naruto could change his fate, then Neji could too.

 _Take a deep breath. It will be alright_.

He could do this.

Neji pushed the door.

 _What if Hinata hates him?_

He didn't give that thought much attention.

It was not his idea at first. He didn't remember thinking. He just didn't stop his legs from travelling here - they seemed to had grown a mind of their own.

But he was here anyway.

The first thing came to his senses was the smell of hospital - typical with medicines and cleansers and chemistry, and his nose wrinkled in distaste.

Hinata's small frame was there, lying listlessly on the bed, white quilt covered her body. A bandage was wrapped neatly on her head.

Words flowed out his mouth, before he knew it.

"I'm sorry, Hinata-sama."

Fragile and broken... Her skin was dyed partly a devilish purple color, and he knew it was his fault...

"I'm sorry."

The sentence felt awkward, coming from him, from his mouth no less. Hyuuga Neji _never_ apologies.

But there is always a start for anything, he mused.

Her eyes closed peacefully, and if he hadn't known any better, if he hadn't seen her collapsing on the ground, unconscious, if he had never seen the rest of her skin so sickly pale...

He would have said she was just sleeping.

 _Hinata-sama of the Main House. Neji, you will live to protect her..._

Old voices from the past, mixing in his mind, and usually he would ignore them. But now, now... He saw everything in new light. He saw Hinata in new light. He saw his life in new light.

And maybe it was guilt, maybe it was some kind of Naruto's jutsu that hit his head and affected his normal thinking ability, or maybe it was even some kind of twisted joke fate decided to play on him - just to made everything more entertaining. He didn't know. But he knew the nest thing he do would be a right thing. He wouldn't have to regret it, an instinct inside him urged.

Neji bowed his head, ever so slightly.

"I will protect you, Hinata-sama."

"With my whole life."

For the first time in ten years, he really meant it. Really said it, without sarcarm dripping from his voice or mock respect in his feature.

Just him.

He didn't notice the corner of her mouth, lifting into a tiny, tired, **bright** smile.

* * *

 _You got holes in your jeans_  
 _and few in your heart_  
 _You don't know what it means to me, to watch you fall apart_  
 _Cause your broken and bruised, but I can hold you close._  
 _I'll take you in my arms tonight, just me and you._

* * *

When Neji was fifteen, he found out that Hinata had her despair too, despite how everyone sees her.

It was sometime around midnight. The night was, surprisingly and unsurprisingly, dark. Just an overwhelming blackness that blinds everything.

Chances were that Neji had insomnia. He didn't know why, and certainly didn't know what would happen to him. He only wanted to have a stroll around the Hyuuga compounds, and let sleep come.

He wasn't the only one awake at that ungodly time, Neji knew, for the faint figure sitting on the bench. Midnight blue hair streamed down smoothly, shone in the moonlinght.

 _Hinata-sama_

"Hinata-sama. Why are you still awake this late...?"

She startled. Looing up at him, and then her body relaxed. A small smile crawled up her lips.

"Hey Neji nii-san."

Her eyes were two bright milk orbs, strangely reminded him of the moon above them.

Silence.

"Why are you still awake this late?"

The question was repeated, and this time Neji was sure Hinata heard it.

She didn't answered. Instead, only holding out the small plant in her hands for him to see.

Her voice sounded far away:

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Pure white blossomed in her palms, delicate petals gleamed slightly, a drop of fog rolled down.

He inclined his head. His voice raw.

"Primrose."

Her head only moved a little as an approval

"And it only lives for a short time."

"Everything has to die and every life has to drift away, Hinata-sama."

His eyes roamed over her face, trying to get a reaction.

"But this is beautiful, Neji nii-san. Its purpose is to brighten this world..."

"And everything beautiful is short-lived, Hinata-sama."

"Still, do you believe that?"

He didn't response.

Her fingers trailed down the pearly petals, brushing the small droplet.

"Primrose. Prima rosa. Primerose. Whatever name this is called..."

"It is still referred as one. First rose. Spring rose."

"First to be born. First to die. The background for others to shine."

Neji shuddered involuntarily, and it had nothing to do with the cold weather, or the thin fog.

She looked up at him.

"Hey nii-san?"

"Hn?"

"Will you remember me?"

One delicate eyebrow rose.

"Hn?"

Her smile, usually a bright, lovely sight. Not this time.

This time, it only screamed out hopelessness. Despair. Of lost and regret. Of shame and pain and loneliness.

Of a person who is not seen.

Neji found his breath hitched.

A trail of ivory sparkled on her face.

"Will anyone remember me?"

"The failure? The insignificant? The background?"

He couldn't take her in his arms like he used to ten years ago.

"If one day I disappear... Will there be anyone mourn for me?"

She shouldn't be asking that, because he will not allow that to happen, he will not allow anything to hurt her, not if he has any say to the problem.

His body dropped down on the bench.

Somehow, his face and hands found their way to hers.

Hot breath ghosted over her skin, prickling the water.

Slender fingers brushed hesitantly.

"Hinata-sama."

His fingers twitched.

More tears flowed down her cheeks.

"Don't cry"

The thin watery line on her face smudged. Salty flavour lingered on his lips.

"Your tears are too precious to be wasted."

* * *

 _You see me in hindsight_  
 _Tangled up with you all night_  
 _Burnin' it down_  
 _Some day when you leave me_  
 _I bet these memories follow you around_

 _Say you'll remember me_  
 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe_  
 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_  
 _Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams..._

* * *

When he was sixteen, Neji first knew how it feels to have a heartbreak.

Hinata walked to him, worry was written all over her face.

"Hey nii-san..."

She looked down the ground shyly.

Neji could bet all the odds that this involved that blonde, precisely named Naruto.

"Hn?"

Hinata poked her index finger together.

Fidgeting, huh. He hadn't seen her done that for years.

"Naruto-kun... Do... do you know where he is?"

 _So this really is about Naruto._

Neji inclined his head amusedly.

His ivory eyes studied her face, and Hinata, catching his stare, turned away timidly, pink dusted her cheeks.

It felt sadistically _pleasant_ , he had to admit, when Neji told her:

"I heard that Naruto is leaving the village today for his training."

The disappointed look on her face, however, was too much for him.

His chest tightened.

Neji swallowed thickly, and somehow a smile crawled its way up his chapped lips.

"But shouldn't you see him off?"

Her bright smile, usually makes him so happy, this time only made is chest ached more.

* * *

She opened her half-lidded eyes, and a shallow breath barely escaped her lips.

Words ran around her head.

 _I used to always cry and give up...I made many wrong turns...But you...You helped me find the right path. I always chased after you...I wanted to catch up to you...I wanted to walk beside you all the time. I just wanted to be with you...You changed me! Your smile is what saved me! That is why I am not afraid to die protecting you! Because...I love you..._

It felt relieved, no doubt it did, that she'd finally told Naruto her feeling.

But it felt empty too.

Something she could not quite put a finger on.

Like a goodbye.

 _Maybe this was a farewell._

The pain was getting to her head.

Her whole body was numb. Her lips chapped and dried.

 _This is how my life will end._

This didn't feel like her body anymore. She felt light and dizzy, and looking at herself like someone else.

Milky eyes blurred, lacked of the lavender tints in them.

She wanted to cry, but there was a small flame in her eyes that must have dried the tears away.

It ached, instead.

 _Will there be a funeral?_

Her lips curled up.

 _Neji nii-san will tell me I'm delirious._

Thinking about her cousin was too much. It was like a reminder, of what Hinata had, of what she could have had,

Of childhood.

Of training.

Of caring and being cared.

Of being loved.

Of someone waiting for her to return.

Of someone who protects her.

Of an assumption, of a 'what if', a warm and peaceful life she would never be able to see again,...

And then there was **pain**. Pain, pain, whatever - maybe both.

It ached. Hurt. Not only her body, but her mind as well...

Water dampened her eyelashes.

The gravity was crushing her down, weighing her lower six feet down...

 _Neji nii-san..._

The thought brought tears in her eyes.

 _This is the end._

Water ran down her face, puddling on the ground.

Droplets prickled her skin.

Her hair, thickened with matted blood, spreaded out.

Clothes were stained a dazzling shade of bright red, the liquid was still wet and sticky on her flawless skin.

And then she was lift up.

Warm arms secured around her petite frame protectively.

Body heat engulfed every inch of her being.

Cold fingertips touched her face, trailing down her jaw. Brushing against the shell of ear, before finally came to the short strand fell on her face, tucking it behind her ear.

Brown hair fell all over their faces, hid their forms from the war. His lips curled up into an assuring smile, and Hinata remembered soothing deep voice whispered:

"Hinata-sama, don't cry. Your tears are too precious to be wasted."

* * *

 _When you fall like a statue_  
 _I'm gonna be there to catch you_  
 _Put you on your feet, you on your feet_  
 _And if your heart is empty_  
 _Not a thing will prevent me_  
 _Tell me what you need, what do you need_

* * *

It was dawn - almost a new day when he came half-dead.

Hinata was in her room, sleeping peacefully, safe and sound, and he only made a breath - but she was a kunoichi.

Her first instinct was to reached out for the kunai on the drawer and to activate Byakugan.

Hinata breathed out a relieved sigh as she saw his signature brown hair, falling down his back and trailing ever so slightly whenever a small breeze blew from her window.

Immediately, a frown marred her expression. Something were off. _Very_ off. She could tell by his figure, always so tall and proud, now collapsed on the floor. By the irregular flow of chakra, dangerously low. By his shallow breath, so thin that seemed like he didn't _breath_ at all. By blood all over his ANBU armour, his once-white mask and his skin. By cut and bruises on the exposed skin. And by her instinct.

"Neji nii-san?"

The kunai was dropped down its usual place as she rushed to his side.

His forehead was cool and dry, Hinata mused as she placed her hand on. The curse seal implanted on his skin seemed to glared accusingly at her.

Hinata quickly retreated from skin contact. Her gaze averted from him.

"Neji nii-san? Can you hear me?"

No response. His head tipped forward, and his back, had it not been for the wall, would have slumped down already.

 _He didn't respond_.

She tried to control her breath.

 _Calm down. Relax. Take a deep breath. He will be alright_.

Her fingers found their way to his wrist, and without hesitation, Hinata pressed it against her ear.

The faint thumping sound reverberated in her ear.

Hinata let out a relieved sigh - one she hadn't known she was holding.

Clumsily, so clumsy that Sakura would have laughed at her if she had been here, and awkwardly, Hinata took off his metal armour.

He made no protest.

So far, there were no injuries under the armour, thank Kami.

His arms, however, were a completely different story.

Fire stamped on his skin, a dark path running down the exposed skin. Shades of red and black covered him. Nasty cuts marching back and forth, maliciously drew a deadly picture on him. Sticky redness dampened the white cloth underneath, pouring down the floor and dripping on her hands. Some strands of hair were burnt curtly, falling out of his tie.

Blood rushed to her face and she scolded herself for _that_ kind of reaction.

 _Oh come on! This is definitely not the appropriate time!_

Hastily, Hinata cleaned him out - as clean as she could with the cloth, anyway. When she finished, the towel was dripping with blood and covered in dirt. Not good.

She took a deep breath and lift the hem of his shirt - _Oh for God's shake, this is not the time to be embarassed!_ \- and took it off as well. The pants, Hinata looked at it, and then decided that Neji had no serious injuries down there.

The cream was applied on his skin as gently as she could.

He sat silently, almost asleep. His head leaned over her body, shaped chin rested on her shoulder for support.

Hinata briefly considered leading him back to his room for some rest, but she quickly dismissed it. His room or not, she still had to stay nxt to him, to make sure he was OK. Beside, Neji was too exhausted to be there, and she didn't have enough strength to take him there anyway. Her shyness could wait.

And so, she guided him back to her bed, positioning him comfortably on the mattress, and made sure the quilt cover his ( _naked!_ ) injured chest, for his own goods - and hers too.

Pulling a chair out, the girl flopped down comfortably. Big, milky eyes looked at her cousin's sleeping face, at his peaceful expression, at the brown strands falling on his face - and she would never admit this, but Neji was undoubtably _handsome_.

She dropped her head down the bed and closed her eyes.

Hinata didn't know the exact time, but she guessed it was a few hours later when she felt something held her hand.

Her back hurt and cramped.

Ivory eyes fluttered open, only to find Neji's sharp ones staring at her.

"Hm? Oh Neji nii-san, you're awake."

He didn't say anything, only tugged her hand more. She looked at him questioningly.

 _Is he illusioning?_

He bit his lower lip and grunted.

Hinata quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Nii-san?"

He frowned.

And when Neji finally spoke to her, his voice sounded strangely hushed and _broken_. His hand gestured at his neck. Her look trailed up.

Only to find a white, deep scar there.

"Come on, Hinata, you are not going to sleep there."

He pulled her down the white, soft mattress.

"Nii-san?"

"Hn?" - He mumbled sleepily.

"Why do you come to me?"

He didn't answer, and for a while Hinata thought he was asleep.

Words brushed over her skin.

"Because the sole reason I survived was to see you again."

Hinata found blood rushing to her face.

"Because you were waiting for me."

His arms secured themselves around her body, and her lips twitched into a smile against his hair.

* * *

 _And though the road is long_  
 _I look up to the sky_  
 _And In the dark I found, I stop and I won't fly_  
 _And I sing along, I sing along, then I sing along_

 _I got all I need when I got you and I_  
 _I look around me, and see sweet life_  
 _I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight_  
 _You're gettin' me, gettin' me through the night_  
 _Can't stop my heart when you shinin' in my eyes_  
 _I can't lie, it's a sweet life_  
 _I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight_  
 _You're gettin' me, gettin' me through the night_  
 _Cause you're my flash light_  
 _You're my flash light, you're my flash light_

* * *

It was a Wednesday when Hinata finally let her first love go.

Crystal blue sky, golden sunlight shining brightly and cool breeze blowing softly on her skin. The light pink sakura petals rained down her petite figure as she strolled down the street to the cafe.

She'd always wanted to be here with Naruto. Well here she was. Just... without the blonde.

Hinata let out a brief sigh.

 _Hinata, I love you. As a sister, I do... Just - not the kind of love you feel for me._

A smile crawled up her face, but even that couldn't help the bitter aftertaste lingering on her tongue.

 _I think - I think that I am still in love. With Sakura-chan._

 _He said, rubbing his hair apologetically._

She remembered herself, biting her lower lip, desperately trying to hold the tears in her eyes.

Looking back now... Hinata couldn't say she hadn't seen that coming.

She knew it. Kiba knew it. Shino knew it. Kakashi knew it. Lady Tsunade knew it. Heck, even Lee knew it.

Everyone knew it.

Even now, Naruto still liked - no, loved - Sakura.

 _And... I know she is still after teme... But - just because she still like him doesn't mean she is not the same Sakura I fall in love with..._

It was nobody's fault - emotions are something no one can't really control. She didn't blame him. She didn't blame Sakura. She didn't regret loving him

 _It... just isn't my ninja way._

She just got to move on.

 _I'm sorry, Hinata-chan_.

Still, it didn't stop her from feeling heartbroken. Hinata just knew she got to move on, with only the knowledge that Naruto didn't love her, and moving on was her only right choice.

Tears were starting to spill from her eyes, but she blinked rapidly, forcing them to run back.

He didn't give up.

So should Hinata.

At the end of the street, she found the two of them, standing under a sakura tree.

Naruto was playful, as ever, as he tried to place a flower on her pink hair.

Sakura, as usual, was hitting his head.

However, the little smile on the pinkette's face was unmistakable.

The blonde spotted her, Hinata could tell, because immediately, he stopped. Looking down the ground guiltily.

The pinkette waved her hand enthusiastically, her voice cheerful:

"Hinata-chan! Come here!"

For a moment, Hinata considered ignoring them.

 _Still, they are my friends_.

And with that thought, she waved back:

"Sakura -chan, hi!"

Hesitantly, the girl added:

"Hey Naruto-kun!"

The boy looked up. Her heart thumped painfully in the ribcage.

Clear blue eyes bored at hers, and he shyly greeted:

"Hey Hinata."

 _This is too much._

Every words hurt her, they hurt,...

"Happy Valentine day!"

And she quickly walked past them.

The small droplet at the corner of her eye was unnoticed, by both the couple and Hinata herself.

The cafe wasn't very crowded, one of the thing she loved about it. Another thing was that it was vintage - with clean blue-painted walls, bookshelves lined from the floor to the ceiling, and the wooden piano at the centre, for the custmers to play.

Opened the door, and the first thing she noticed was the signature smell - a smell of newly baked cake and warm coffee, with a scent of wood and old paper and cool, wet weather - strangely reminded her of a refreshing rain.

Taking a deep breath, Hinata walked to her usual table.

Sitting down, she was met with a pair of white eyes.

Neji inclined his head:

"Hinata-sama?"

"Nii-san?"

"What are you doing here, Hinata-sama?"

"Uh... To drink coffee?"

His lips quirked up:

"That was a rhetorical question, Hinata-sama."

She felt her lips stretched into a smile too, a real smile.

"Hm, Neji nii-san, you know how to joke? Is apocalypse coming today?"

He rolled his eyes - just her best guess, because with his pupil-less eyes, it was hard to tell - and gave her a blank stare. Again, just her assumption, no one does a blank stare like a bemused Hyuuga anyway.

"I am human, after all, Hinata-sama."

And then there was comfortable silent, as he sipped his huge cup of coffee ( Hinata wasn't exaggerating when she said 'huge' ) and she took a sip of her ice-blended matcha.

That was, until he looked at her questioningly:

"Hinata-sama, what hurt you?"

Following his gaze, and she noticed the cold sensation on her skin.

"Oh... Nothing."

She hastily brushed the droplet away.

"Don't lie."

"Hn."

He stared at her. Hinata stubbornly stared back.

It was forever.

Until Neji sighed, averting his gaze away from her.

The silence between them, once comfortable, now became unbearable. The tension was so thick, so thick that you could cut it with a knife and made a sandwich.

The soft, comforting words were the last string. All dam broke loose, and Hinata found herself leaning over him, her face buried in his silky hair.

"Neji nii-san..."

"I will never be enough, am I?"

"I am not special..."

He stroked her hair tentatively.

His hand combed her midnight locks.

Hot breath fanned on the smooth surface that was her skin.

His voice was soothing, like he was handling a frightened little girl.

"Hinata-sama, I can't tell you everything is perfect..."

"But in the end, it all will be OK."

"If isn't OK then it isn't the end."

Long calloused fingers tangled themselves in her hair, and something brushed on her earshell.

It didn't take long time before Hinata looked up questioningly.

"Hn?"

"'Hn' what, Hinata-sama?"

"What is that?"

He looked at her, ivory eyes widened in ultimate innocence:

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hinata-sama."

Too innocent to be true.

"Neji nii-san."

Her voice dropped dangerously low.

He inclined his head cutely.

"Hn? What was that you want to say, Hinata-sama?"

His face broke into a mild smirk.

Chuckle reverberated in his chest.

"Hah..."

"That's just a flower, Hinata-sama. You are too suspicious."

Hinata neatly snorted.

"Coming from you, that's rich."

Lying in his palm was indeed a flower. Pure white petals slightl curled up, and a light scent filled her nostrils.

"Primrose."

 _Bingo._

"Why?"

"Isn't is beautiful?"

Exactly what she said a year ago.

"Yeah, but..."

Before she could finish her sentence, Neji cut in.

"It's just like you Hinata-sama. Fragile and beautiful."

"And beside, isn't today Valentine?"

When her mind could finally register what he said, her face seemed incredibly red, and she wondered why she hadn't died of blood loss yet.

 _He remembers today is Valentine._

 _He remembers that awkward conversation._

"Primrose. Prima rosa. Primerose. Whatever name this is called..."

"It is still referred as one. First rose. Spring rose."

 _He remembers._

The thought spinning around her head.

Soft lips gently pressed against her cheek.

"Happy Valentine day, Hinata-sama."

It was a strangely pleasant feeling, cool sensation on her skin that somehow managed to ease her worries and provoke her deep thoughts.

 _Well, there is a beginning to everything._

"Hey nii-san..."

"Can you drop the honorific in my name?"

His lips curved.

The flower found its way back on her hair.

 _What's in a name? that which we call a rose_  
 _By any other name would smell as sweet_

* * *

 _And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid_  
 _I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did_  
 _I've been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does_  
 _Is break and burn and end_  
 _But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again_

* * *

And now he was in front of her.

The blow had thrown them backward, no doubt, but Neji was the one who took the fatal attack.

Wooden remnants shattered around him.

His hair sprawled all over the ground, the dark brown colour burnt to cinders. The small scrap used to loosely tied his hair now reduced to gray ash, all that was left a small piece of maroon cloth. Soaking all over the stream of hair was blood, vivid, red, hot blood, dampened the silky strands.

Naruto looked horrified as ever. Placing the Hyuuga prodigy's head on his shoulder, he desperately tried to call a medic nin.

But Neji only shook his head slightly.

Hinata could only stood there, frozen.

She was a medic nin too. She could help him. He was _not_ going to die, not like this.

Hinata was a kunoichi, and a medic nin. She'd seen death everyday - it wasn't an uncommon thing.

There was shinobi that couldn't make it out of the mission alive.

There were surgeries and poisons that were uncurable.

But till now, death was something that wasn't real to her - maybe because she'd never really been through the feeling.

And now it was there on the battlefield, ready to steal Neji away.

Without second thought, Hinata lunged herself to his limp figure.

Sharp eyes bored at her, a tender spark lightened his milky orbs.

He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but Hinata pressed her shaky fingers on his lips.

 _He is not going to die._

Forcing her chakra flow to her hand, the palm was pressed on his chest.

He smiled weakly. _No,_ his lips mouthed.

 _You are not going to die_ , she whispered frantically, over and over again like a mantra, more likely to assure herself than him, _you are not going to die on me, do you hear me?_

The syllables mixing and blending together, shadowing her eyes and drowning her mind, she needed oxygen, this was too much, this was suffocating...

"Hinata..."

His smile shone with pain, a thin red line ran down his face.

"No, don't talk, I will save you. Just focus, Neji, do you hear me?"

He meekly nodded.

His fingertips were cold as they traced her face, whisper barely escaped his lips.

"You are crying, Hinata."

His voice was merely a breeze.

"Don't cry, Hinata."

"Your tears are too precious to be wasted."

Cold skin wiped away the salty water straming out wildly.

"Stop talking! Focus on your breath!"

The pain was devouring his soul and mind, cut and burnt and blood creating such a scary redness that she had never seen before.

He coughed out, and more blood poured out.

Hinata swallowed a painful lump in her throat, words repeating with a crazy speed inside her mind.

"You are _not_ going to die. You are _not_."

Her voice was hoarse, something stuck in her vocal chords.

 _He is not going to die_.

He gave her a weak smile.

"I'm sorry."

 _He is not going to die_.

She would not allow this.

 _He is not going to die_.

If he dies, who will be there for her to cry and pour her soul our?

 _He is not going to die_.

If he dies, who will let her paint his face?

 _He is not going to die_.

Who will she fall asleep on?

 _He is not going to die._..

Who... will she love...?

"Stay safe, Hinata-sama."

She shook her head stubbornly. Glassy eyes stared at him with shining determination and fear, and over all, despair.

"No."

"You will stay alive to protect me. Isn't that your job? To protect me. And you are not going to call me _Hinata-sama_ again. I told you, didn't I? Drop the honorific!"

Her vision blurred, his figure a swimming shade, but she gripped on his shoulders to the point that hurt.

"You will not leave me."

"Forgive me."

"I love you."

"Hn."

Her shaking lips crashed down on him, his lips burnt and chapped and scorching, while she savoured his taste, always the peppermint and a salty, tangy taste of hot blood. And the salty cool flavour of her tears pouring out uncontrollably.

He pushed him away. His eyes shimmered.

The smile was still on his lips, but he said nothing. Sharp eyes forever lidded.

She froze. Grasping his hand, Hinata brought it to her ear.

The were no pulse.

 _Neji couldn't die._

No chakra.

 _He is never so fragile and broken like this._

Her eyes roamed his face, desperately searching for any kind of expression. For anything but that empty smile lingering on his lips.

Body shaken, she looked at him, tears stinging her skin.

 _He is never inhuman and deadly like this._

 _This is only any illusion._

He was gone.

Letting out a scream of agony, she found herself in the middle of the fight, shuriken and kunai flying around.

The last thing she remembered was flame. Bright orange flame. And the heat, melting her body to gray ash, travelling over the air until nothing was left...

And everything shattered.

* * *

 _In another life_  
 _I would be your girl_  
 _We keep all our promises_  
 _Be us against the world_

 _In another life_  
 _I would make you stay_  
 _So I don't have to say_  
 _You were the one that got away_  
 _The one that got away_

* * *

She sat up, sweat breaking all over her face.

It was only a dream.

A dream.

The door of her room cracked open, and for a moment, she breathed out in relief.

 _He will be there to comfort her._

 _To tell her this all is just a nightmare._

And a figure walked in.

Kou asked her, concern laced his voice:

"Are you alright, Hinata-sama?"

Somehow, she managed to create something akin to a smile:

"I'm OK. Go back to sleep, Kou."

The look lingered on her a little more before the wooden door closed, leaving her alone in her room.

 _It was only a dream._

 _One more minute._

 _Just one more minute._

 _She could have reunited with him._

 _Just one more minute._

 _Only a minute._

She gave herself a mock smile.

 _And you said you were OK._

For a moment, she allowed herself to be allured with the dream, that everything would be OK in the end, that he would came back and say this was all a nightmare, and she should just wake up.

And then Hinata remembered he once told her anything beautiful was short-lived.

Tears fell down her face, so much, and he wasn't here, he wasn't here to assure her this time.

 _A dream is a wish your heart makes._

* * *

 _In a cold night_  
 _There will be no fair fight_  
 _There will be no good night_  
 _To turn and walk away_

 _So burn me with fire,_  
 _Drown me with rain_  
 _I'm gonna wake up_  
 _Screaming your name_


End file.
